Why People Feel Lonely at Work and What to do as A Leader

CAPE TOWN - A few weeks ago I came across a video on Gartner's YouTube Channel, the discussion was about "Inside Gartner's 9 Future of Work Trends for 2025".  One of these kept looping in my mind, so I looked into it.  According to Gartner, loneliness at work is a high business risk.

What stood out to me is they are saying people are lonely at work due to lack of connections… may be so, but there is a deeper layer.

When Your Passion Doesn't Match Your Job

I think people are lonely because there is not enough connection between them and their jobs. And look, I get it.  We all have bills to pay.  We all need to eat.  But when you're spending 8+ hours a day doing something that feels like you're swimming upstream... that's not just tired, that's draining your life-force and why you feel lonely.   

Is it your fault that you landed there?  No.  And nobody is blaming you.  Sometimes as people we get pulled into things we really aren't even passionate about but do because parents or society said so.  

You know what I mean? "Oh you're good with numbers, you should be an accountant." "You're organized, you should go into project management." "That's a stable career, do that."

But here's the thing: stability doesn't mean fulfilling.  And when you're not fulfilled, when there's this constant disconnect between who you are and what you're doing all day... that creates this weird kind of loneliness.  No amount of comradery can fill the void of misalignment from what you were born to do, forget it. 

The Energy Vampire Effect

While there could be many attributes to this, wrong line-of-work, personal issues, health etc. A common thread, one where you can get involved as a Leader is… addressing the energy draining tasks enmeshed with the role they are passionate about.

But let's talk about what happens when someone is completely in the wrong thing entirely.  That energy of "I hate this, ohhh not this again, Ohhhh can't stand this place…." It is potent, it will not only show in the individual who has it.  It will spread and infect the team.

I've seen this.  You probably have too.  One person who's just... off.  And it's not that they're a bad person.  They're just in the wrong place, doing the wrong thing, and their energy is like this constant drain on everyone around them.  They're not trying to be negative, but when you're disconnected from your purpose, that shows up as this low-level resistance to everything.

The Signs Are Right There If You Look

So how do you know? How do you tell if someone is just having a bad day or if they're fundamentally disconnected from their work?

Look for the patterns. The person who used to be engaged but now you can see it in their face when certain tasks come up.  The one who perks up during some conversations and goes flat during others.  The person who's always finding excuses to avoid certain parts of their job.

And here's what's interesting.  It's usually not the whole job they hate. It's that the parts they hate are so energy-draining that it overshadows the parts they might actually love.

How to Help Your Team

Ask your team, what do you dislike about your job?  You will find it is repetitive stuff that can be done by some kind of tech or AI.   I am not saying replace people with tech entirely.  Definitely not.  

Help people with tech.   Help yourself with tech too as a leader.  And call in specialists like myself, Charmaine.  I know exactly how to help you help your team understand themselves like never before and thus, reach alignment.  I also know how to use tech and AI to engineer systems that take away the energy drain.  

What This Really Costs Us

We talk about productivity and engagement scores and all these metrics, yeah that’s fine.  But what I’m really talking about is human beings spending the majority of their waking hours feeling disconnected from their purpose.  That's not just a business problem.  That's a humanity problem.

And until we start asking not just "can they do the job?" but "is this job fulfilling to a human being?"  We're going to keep having lonely people at work.  Throwing AI at it and wanting to replace people is not the solution either, so forget about that strategy.  That’s just hype. 

The first step though is to determine, are they in the right line of work.  Because sometimes the solution isn't better team dynamics or more flexibility or even more money.  Sometimes the most compassionate thing you can do is help someone realize they're in the wrong place entirely.